Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
