You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize