Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i can't believe i had my finger in that
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
