someone threw a dead crab at me
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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