i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
