i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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