Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It's just like the Real World with babies
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
