my mouth tastes like poor choices
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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