i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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