I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
