the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
