the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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