so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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