omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
