Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
