she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
