Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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