my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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