Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I am in a vortex of obligation.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize