Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
