he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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