I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
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You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
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woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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