Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people

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  (207): Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people http://tfl.nu/csbk
  Replies (6) Good night (6630) Bad night (878)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions

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  (812): So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions http://tfl.nu/7b2z
  Replies (14) Good night (2722) Bad night (861)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.

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  (724): Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like. http://tfl.nu/trgq
  Replies (10) Good night (2920) Bad night (788)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.

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  (608): I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her. http://tfl.nu/5b2d
  Replies (18) Good night (7480) Bad night (985)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.

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  (774): if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking. http://tfl.nu/oesf
  Replies (8) Good night (1172) Bad night (4427)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.

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  (724): i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver. http://tfl.nu/mj0i
  Replies (8) Good night (2387) Bad night (1868)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.

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  (920): I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night. http://tfl.nu/zpas
  Replies (11) Good night (3887) Bad night (2273)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.

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  (917): He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman. http://tfl.nu/emjq
  Replies (5) Good night (2909) Bad night (869)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today

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  (+61): I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today http://tfl.nu/nnzy
  Replies (3) Good night (2038) Bad night (858)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.

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  (519): No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike. http://tfl.nu/0ndc
  Replies (15) Good night (871) Bad night (1844)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me

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  (336): i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me http://tfl.nu/j08w
  Replies (6) Good night (784) Bad night (1320)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.

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  (604): Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy. http://tfl.nu/syw5
  Replies (4) Good night (639) Bad night (440)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian

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  (201): you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian http://tfl.nu/lzbp
  Replies (2) Good night (1161) Bad night (408)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?

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  (586): Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"? http://tfl.nu/xh6g
  Replies (3) Good night (782) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.

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  (520): She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings. http://tfl.nu/91ue
  Replies (0) Good night (234) Bad night (211)

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