Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.

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(914): And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady. http://tfl.nu/00hh

Replies (14) Good night (3833) Bad night (836)
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(214): View more from Texas

Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.

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(214): Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake. http://tfl.nu/8hx0

Replies (17) Good night (1261) Bad night (3936)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.

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(513): I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House. http://tfl.nu/zhy5

Replies (27) Good night (1041) Bad night (3034)
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(303): View more from Colorado

And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?

(1-303): View more from Colorado

That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence

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(303): And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open? (1-303): That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence http://tfl.nu/qwl7

Replies (8) Good night (2595) Bad night (748)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired

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(843): got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired http://tfl.nu/eibd

Replies (80) Good night (2845) Bad night (36319)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.

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(203): My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression. http://tfl.nu/go1x

Replies (52) Good night (1335) Bad night (5340)
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(734): View more from Michigan

He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.

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(734): He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon. http://tfl.nu/88sk

Replies (12) Good night (1667) Bad night (3814)
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(512): View more from Texas

Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...

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(512): Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation... http://tfl.nu/vkji

Replies (3) Good night (2529) Bad night (1559)
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(773): View more from Illinois

At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.

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(773): At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect. http://tfl.nu/fdmy

Replies (7) Good night (3309) Bad night (1093)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.

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(910): You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear. http://tfl.nu/21wf

Replies (3) Good night (1093) Bad night (2846)
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(214): View more from Texas

COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!

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(214): COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!! http://tfl.nu/kzi1

Replies (5) Good night (1224) Bad night (837)
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(914): View more from New York

I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.

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(914): I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go. http://tfl.nu/xxmp

Replies (2) Good night (1080) Bad night (535)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.

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(303): Get a piano. I want to have sex on it. http://tfl.nu/t29o

Replies (19) Good night (2295) Bad night (717)
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(718): View more from New York

With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult

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(718): With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult http://tfl.nu/nn1s

Replies (7) Good night (806) Bad night (500)
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(519): View more from Ontario

He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher

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(519): He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher http://tfl.nu/uiek

Replies (7) Good night (929) Bad night (410)

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