dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.