I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD