Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college

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  (508): I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college http://tfl.nu/po1d
  Replies (3) Good night (665) Bad night (739)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.

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  (269): After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever. http://tfl.nu/nvrl
  Replies (19) Good night (750) Bad night (6562)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.

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  (732): there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts. http://tfl.nu/wlt6
  Replies (48) Good night (7675) Bad night (2115)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..

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  (610): He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him.. http://tfl.nu/ejw3
  Replies (10) Good night (1400) Bad night (3583)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend

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  (636): i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend http://tfl.nu/jil2
  Replies (7) Good night (6291) Bad night (927)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!

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  (903): How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?! http://tfl.nu/tpho
  Replies (19) Good night (1161) Bad night (2368)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...

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  (727): I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real... http://tfl.nu/t9kl
  Replies (14) Good night (1111) Bad night (4422)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder

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  (203): They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder http://tfl.nu/slwo
  Replies (4) Good night (1768) Bad night (817)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children

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  (248): The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children http://tfl.nu/7xpu
  Replies (6) Good night (4365) Bad night (788)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.

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  (210): If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already. http://tfl.nu/pwun
  Replies (7) Good night (2521) Bad night (925)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.

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  (443): Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good. (410): The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky. http://tfl.nu/y3f5
  Replies (10) Good night (901) Bad night (2006)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds

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  (252): I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds http://tfl.nu/g7b7
  Replies (5) Good night (954) Bad night (607)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters

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  (240): If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters http://tfl.nu/bqf1
  Replies (7) Good night (1094) Bad night (397)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.

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  (224): hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died (774): Thanks for the flashbacks you prick. http://tfl.nu/r1xq
  Replies (2) Good night (653) Bad night (319)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?

  (1-504): View more from Louisiana

  That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?

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  (504): Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up? (1-504): That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies? http://tfl.nu/79n3
  Replies (1) Good night (720) Bad night (200)

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