Umm I'm too high to move.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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