Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
