lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
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they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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