my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
