VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
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