hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize