It's like a parade of train wrecks.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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