Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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