I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
