the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It was confusing and full of hummus
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
