they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
