I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
