I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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