yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I woke up under a house in Key West
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