How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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