it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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