Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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