What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
