Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
