I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The struggles of a small town man whore
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize