Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
