did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Less talking, more tequila
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
