trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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