I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize