just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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