loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You know, be my cock's hype man.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
