i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
