do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
