she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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