Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize