She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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