if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize