the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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