No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'm really busy with my period
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