come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
