oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just sucked dick on a ferry
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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