I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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