Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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