Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
