why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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