i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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