The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
