We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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