I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
